How to Talk to Your Doctor About Perimenopause (and Finally Be Heard)
If you’ve ever walked out of a doctor’s office feeling brushed off, you’re not alone.
Maybe you’ve been told:
“You’re too young for perimenopause.”
“Your hormone levels are fine.”
“It’s just part of getting older.”
These words can sting. They can make you question yourself, wonder if you’re overreacting, or even feel like your symptoms aren’t valid. But deep down, you know something isn’t right.
Here’s what I want you to hear clearly: your experience is real, and it deserves attention.
That’s why I created the Perimenopause Action Plan—a free resource with a symptom tracker, conversation starters, and key questions you can bring to your next appointment. It’s the tool I wish I had years ago, and it can help you walk in prepared and walk out feeling heard. 👉 Download it here.
Let’s look at some of the most common things women hear from doctors—and how you can respond with confidence.
1. “You’re Too Young for Perimenopause.”
It’s frustrating to be dismissed because of your age—especially when your body is telling a different story. Perimenopause doesn’t wait for 50. Some women begin in their late 30s or early 40s.
What to say:
“I understand the average age range, but I’m experiencing symptoms that are impacting my daily life. Could we look more closely?”
“I’ve learned that perimenopause can start earlier than most expect. Can we discuss testing or other evaluations to understand what’s happening?”
👉 By grounding the conversation in your lived experience, you remind your provider that averages don’t define individuals.
2. “Your Hormones Are Normal.”
You know what’s not normal? Feeling like a stranger in your own body—yet being told your labs are “fine.” Hormones swing daily, sometimes hourly. A single snapshot doesn’t always tell the whole story.
What to say:
“I understand that my labs appear normal, but my symptoms are having a real impact. Could we retest at a different time or look for patterns over time?”
“I’ve been tracking my symptoms consistently. Could we use that alongside labs to guide next steps?”
👉 Trust your body. If something feels off, it’s worth investigating further.
3. “It’s Just Part of Getting Older.”
Yes, menopause is natural. But that doesn’t mean exhaustion, brain fog, or sleepless nights should simply be endured. Dismissing your experience as “just aging” minimizes the very real ways perimenopause affects your life.
What to say:
“I know menopause is a natural transition, but the intensity of these symptoms isn’t normal for me. I’d like to explore solutions, not just wait it out.”
“Can we discuss both lifestyle changes and treatment options that may help ease the symptoms I’m experiencing?”
👉 Growing older doesn’t mean living smaller. You deserve solutions that help you feel like yourself again.
4. “You’re Just Depressed.”
If you’ve ever felt the sting of this statement, you’re not alone. Emotional symptoms—anxiety, irritability, even panic attacks—are real in perimenopause, but they’re often misunderstood. Too many women are handed antidepressants without exploring the hormonal root of their distress.
What to say:
“I’m wondering if my emotional symptoms could be connected to hormone changes. Can we explore options that address both physical and emotional health?”
“I’d like to consider treatments that support my hormones alongside therapies like CBT or mindfulness.”
👉 Your feelings matter. They’re not “all in your head”—they’re part of the bigger hormonal picture.
5. The HRT Debate
Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) can be life-changing for some women, yet fear and misinformation still surround it. Whether your doctor dismisses HRT outright or pushes it without exploring alternatives, it’s your right to have a balanced, informed conversation.
What to say:
“I know there’s been controversy around HRT. Could we review the most current research and discuss if it’s appropriate for me?”
“I’d also like to explore non-hormonal options so I understand the full range of choices.”
👉 You don’t have to make a rushed decision. The best treatment is the one that works for your body and your life.
6. Non-HRT Solutions Worth Exploring
Even if HRT isn’t right for you, there are effective non-hormonal approaches:
Lifestyle: Consistent strength training, balanced meals with protein, good sleep hygiene.
Supplements: Magnesium, vitamin D, and omega-3s to support mood, bone health, and sleep.
Mind-body practices: CBT, mindfulness, acupuncture, yoga, deep breathing.
Sleep hygiene: Cool, dark room, regular routine, limiting alcohol and screens before bed.
What to Do Next
You don’t have to accept dismissal as your story. The key is preparation.
Track your symptoms. Don’t minimize or forget them—write them down.
Bring your notes. Clear, specific examples are harder to ignore.
Ask direct questions. Lead the conversation, don’t just follow.
Find the right provider. If one doesn’t listen, it’s okay to find someone who will.
💡 To make this easier, I created the Perimenopause Action Plan—your free step-by-step guide with:
A simple symptom tracker.
Key questions for your doctor.
Conversation starters so you never freeze up in the moment.
You Deserve to Be Heard
Perimenopause isn’t “just aging.” It’s a profound hormonal transition that affects every part of your life.
You’re not imagining things. You’re not overreacting. And you are not alone.
With the right tools and conversations, you can move from feeling dismissed to feeling supported.
✨ For ongoing strategies and encouragement, join my monthly newsletter—where I share practical tips, honest stories, and science-backed strategies to help you thrive through perimenopause and beyond. Sign up here.
Hi, I’m Dr. Jaime Lynne,
A women’s health advocate and educator passionate about helping women navigate the confusing and often overlooked journey of perimenopause. Through my work and resources, I empower women to recognize their symptoms, speak up, and get the care they deserve.